FixarJocke – Version 14.04.01

Time goes by so fast, here is the changelog on the new stuff!

I checked the place out where I might be working later on after rehab.
But I dont know if it will do any good for me there, becuse it’s just cleaning diffrent areas
like schools, offices and some shops in the city i live in. Thats good that it’s local and all,
but I know it wont work for long before my back is going to hit a stage where I can’t take
it anymore just like before. So I have no idea what to figure out where I should be focusing
on doing next. I guess I hafto face the steps when they come later on.. Lets not worry about
that for now, that time will come and I kinda need to work around it quickly when it comes
around the corner. But luckly I will always get the help on a suited workplace for me if I just
ask for it, so I’m really grateful of that (seriously, its like a blessing even if I dont belive in
those things). But in short they said that, I’m more than welcome after those six rehab
weeks are done and if I’m intressted.

I still feel like a big questionmark but I will have the answers soon enough, everything needs time.
But it would be nice to know what my plans is going for laters, but I can’t really do anything about
that just now (sadly). I try keep strong and outlast my pain in my back and try do my best in the
situation I’m in. And about my pain btw! I havn’t been in alot of pain for somewhile now, but untill
today I’m kinda in a big pain (but it has its reasons).

I belive all the walks with Max have made my body stronger to last longer without gaining that pain
so quickly as before. I kinda knew it would help, but not in this rate. It went from being really bad
and after we got max, it just gone better and better. But why is my pain back now you might wounder.
Well today I had to go to this meeting in my old town i used to live in, and I knew it’s going to be alot
of info i already know of, but I had to go there. So i went there and its a long walk there, so I kinda
over did it today. But in a way it’s really good for me to know how much I can handle, becuse it will
show rightaway when I have to travel to the rehab for 6 weeks back and forth.
And thats awesome that they will see that aswell, becuse I will be basicly done when I get there lol.
So they will see in what shape I’m in kinda quickly, and this rehab I’m going to what I have heard
cost alot of money. Lucky I dont hafto think about that, becuse they will stand for it.
They rarely give this six weeks of rehab to anyone, but I’m so young still and I have so many
years to give still. So I understand if they wanna help me out so I can get back to work.
I wish more got this opportunity as I have been granted (kinda sad so many is missing out on this).

I wrote on facebook some minutes ago, that my life wouldn’t be this good if it wasn’t for Max and my
lovely girlfriend Caroline. Max makes me forget my pain even if it’s there, and Caroline is my savior.
Sometimes it’s really hard to try be strong when all this with my pain, work and issues with the the
social insurance that almost cut the ends on me getting any money. But I made everything good
and turned it around and now it’s fine on all ends of the strings. Still there is things that might
change, but only time will tell and thats one of the reasons that I kinda do worry about it.
But as my australian fan on my stream told me, “Stop worry about things that havn’t
happend yet, some things might just be in vain. And if those worries didn’t occur,
you will think back and say; why didn’t I listen?”

So I have been thinking like that, and it have been working for most parts (easier said than done).
My answer was before “If i dont worry about it, I can’t think what I will do if it happends, so I
have the solutions infront of me already”. But then I faced his answer rightaway in my face.
It might be alot of thinking and being sad about things you worry about in vain if it doesnt
occur. Yeah I guess I made my point and that you as a reader got my point. It’s abit
harder for me to explain things when this is my secound language but atleast i try!
*Golden Star for me*

So what happends next?
Well the doctor meeting before rehab starts is at the end of the month (28 of April), so time to
wait again. And I will try walk with Max and try get abit stronger if possible and just keep on
doing my thing. I do feel I’m doing the right thing and that I’m doing good and not slacking
so thats good aswell. I know I didn’t have the strength before to do it, but now when we
have Max I’m forced to do all these walks. And thats the best way for me to get going,
to being forced doing things. Becuse if it was all up to me, I would probbly just be doing
nothing and being lazy. Not saying I didn’t do anything good before we got Max but I
know in the long run it wouldn’t help me that far, becuse i would have stoped doing
those two gym days a week. Oh wow this post is so long, but there is so much to
explain and I like telling about it in details Sorry if its too long for you, but this
is OppaFixarStyle