Worries? Goal in life? – Version 14.04.24

Old picture of me, it suited for the subject I’m about to write about.

Thoughts can mess you around, making your life a rollercoaster (ha-ha-ha).
I just saw a clip on facebook about a guy who talk about life, hard times,wealth and stuff to achieve in life.
And the only thing I do know, is that my goal in life will be to spend my last time living in Thailand, thats my goal.
Buy a house even if I can’t own the plot (only thai people can) and just relax and live all good. Time will tell if
it’s still a paradise down there in like 20-30 years from now. But leaving Sweden for a warmer place is something
I would like to do, and both me and Caroline just love Thailand and the people. I had that goal in life to move there
even before I went there, and still after being there total of 4 weeks in these 2 years I still know thats my last goal.
In fact thats my only goal in life beside living with Caroline ofc.

And for you guys who asks “What about Caroline, do she want to live there later on?”
Answer: She do want to move there after being there 2 times, she love that place and
she can relax there to 100% and she is sooo happy when we had our vacation there.

To achieve that goal is “only” to save money and why not start saving now?
If I will start saving *counting* 1000 SEK every month untill I’m 50 (24 years remaning) I will
have 288.000 SEK and thats only from me. And I just saw alot of houses around the price we
paid for this appartment. So thats just awesome, save abit more than that per month and it would
be no problem later on to buy something. Also selling our appartment when the time is in, will provide
with alot of cash aswell. So buying an appartment is really an invenstment if you can, one of the only
good things in life to take a bankloan for. A goal to aim for, but there is also one thing about saving
money. Saving money means, I gotta have work that I can handle for those years and that is still a
problem today for me. It’s now 4 days untill a doctor meeting in a town nearby (takes maby 1 hour
drive to that hospital) and I don’t know what they will be talking about still, so as I have said before…
I’m still a questionmark and try to do my best not to worry about things right now becuse it might
be in vain in the end afterall. My girlfriend thinks its unfair I get money and have so much “freetime”
and she works 6 nights a week and get just abit more than me. So works hard and get low paid
and I dont work at all and get super low amount of money. Ofc she knows it’s all becuse of my
injury I can’t work but she wish she had the time I have to do things.

If I could trade my injury and all the times I go around and think about life, people working
and not me, I would trade it for a normal back and go back and working 8 hours per day
5 times a week. But you never get what you wish for, so better off not wishing for anything.
Go with the flow but still have goals in life is probbly the best way to see things.

It’s 8 days left until I turn 26 and that makes me think of, soon 30…
Well thats true! I’m closer to 30 than 20 now, so yeah.. I don’t see that as a positive thing at all.
Playing 50 cent song: ”I’m getting old in here, so..” erhm.. wrong lyrics, nevermind! :P

Made this short clip of all the videos I had on my mobilephone and added music my friend made.
So if you wanna hear more from him visit the link on the youtube clip info tab or just search for: Solestia
on youtube. Really nice music and i recommend you to sub his channel <3

Vaccuum?–Version 14.0.4.11

Slept around eight or nine hours this night and it felt pretty good and my back
is getting better. Finaly I can focus on something ells but my pain again
Lets hope I dont mess it up now before rehab, or maby I should move
around abit more than usual becuse I will be working with a moving body
when the time comes. So it needs to be accurate state as if I was going to
work, right? Becuse if I take it easy and try not to do stuff that might be
bad for my back (as in increasing the pain) they might put something ells
on the paper later on. Yeah I belive thats the best move.

Anyway I just put another short video on my YouTube page haha.
I made another one like this before, but I made part two today

So today we told that other dog owner we met some days ago to come over!
You know if you saw the last post, well it wasn’t a picture of her but yeah, anyway lol.
So it will be abit crowded here later on hehe. 3 dogs, 1 kid, 2 girls and myself.
But I will focusing on sitting right here, and they can have some girltime hehe.
But I will grab a cookie maby PLEEENNNTTTYYYY, MOHAHAHA!

Breed meeting! – Version 14.04.09

Notthing much have happen lately more than taking it abit easier with
moving around alot. Just becuse after a long walk and standing up along time made
my back really stiff, but it was alot of fun hehe. Just look at Max at the left side of the
picture. There was a fence all around the area, so in this place dogs can run free without
any leash. Was the first time for Max so I guess he just did what ever he wanted while
we wore there.

The other two dogs are the same breed (japanece spitz) and Caroline hooked up the meeting
with them. Max could need some friends and they played around but one of the dogs (right one)
wasn’t allowed at all times to play with Max becuse she isn’t normal. I guess she can be abit
protective and agressive if someone doesn’t interupt her. So they told her to quit being akward
and growl for no reason. But everything went well and it was alot of fun seeing Max having
a great time. He is abit layed back and calm when we shower him later on when we got back
but he is just standing still while the water pour over him hehe.

I would rate that day 10 out of 10 but becuse of my back was all messed up and I went to
sleep around 7 or 8 I think. I rate the day 4 maby even if it was really fun overall. But I havn’t
had this backpain in awhile now so I feel abit down about that. But it will be better in some
weeks again. It will probbly “heal” back up again just before the rehab if it’s quickly enough.
I wish it could be abit different for me..

FixarJocke – Version 14.04.01

Time goes by so fast, here is the changelog on the new stuff!

I checked the place out where I might be working later on after rehab.
But I dont know if it will do any good for me there, becuse it’s just cleaning diffrent areas
like schools, offices and some shops in the city i live in. Thats good that it’s local and all,
but I know it wont work for long before my back is going to hit a stage where I can’t take
it anymore just like before. So I have no idea what to figure out where I should be focusing
on doing next. I guess I hafto face the steps when they come later on.. Lets not worry about
that for now, that time will come and I kinda need to work around it quickly when it comes
around the corner. But luckly I will always get the help on a suited workplace for me if I just
ask for it, so I’m really grateful of that (seriously, its like a blessing even if I dont belive in
those things). But in short they said that, I’m more than welcome after those six rehab
weeks are done and if I’m intressted.

I still feel like a big questionmark but I will have the answers soon enough, everything needs time.
But it would be nice to know what my plans is going for laters, but I can’t really do anything about
that just now (sadly). I try keep strong and outlast my pain in my back and try do my best in the
situation I’m in. And about my pain btw! I havn’t been in alot of pain for somewhile now, but untill
today I’m kinda in a big pain (but it has its reasons).

I belive all the walks with Max have made my body stronger to last longer without gaining that pain
so quickly as before. I kinda knew it would help, but not in this rate. It went from being really bad
and after we got max, it just gone better and better. But why is my pain back now you might wounder.
Well today I had to go to this meeting in my old town i used to live in, and I knew it’s going to be alot
of info i already know of, but I had to go there. So i went there and its a long walk there, so I kinda
over did it today. But in a way it’s really good for me to know how much I can handle, becuse it will
show rightaway when I have to travel to the rehab for 6 weeks back and forth.
And thats awesome that they will see that aswell, becuse I will be basicly done when I get there lol.
So they will see in what shape I’m in kinda quickly, and this rehab I’m going to what I have heard
cost alot of money. Lucky I dont hafto think about that, becuse they will stand for it.
They rarely give this six weeks of rehab to anyone, but I’m so young still and I have so many
years to give still. So I understand if they wanna help me out so I can get back to work.
I wish more got this opportunity as I have been granted (kinda sad so many is missing out on this).

I wrote on facebook some minutes ago, that my life wouldn’t be this good if it wasn’t for Max and my
lovely girlfriend Caroline. Max makes me forget my pain even if it’s there, and Caroline is my savior.
Sometimes it’s really hard to try be strong when all this with my pain, work and issues with the the
social insurance that almost cut the ends on me getting any money. But I made everything good
and turned it around and now it’s fine on all ends of the strings. Still there is things that might
change, but only time will tell and thats one of the reasons that I kinda do worry about it.
But as my australian fan on my stream told me, “Stop worry about things that havn’t
happend yet, some things might just be in vain. And if those worries didn’t occur,
you will think back and say; why didn’t I listen?”

So I have been thinking like that, and it have been working for most parts (easier said than done).
My answer was before “If i dont worry about it, I can’t think what I will do if it happends, so I
have the solutions infront of me already”. But then I faced his answer rightaway in my face.
It might be alot of thinking and being sad about things you worry about in vain if it doesnt
occur. Yeah I guess I made my point and that you as a reader got my point. It’s abit
harder for me to explain things when this is my secound language but atleast i try!
*Golden Star for me*

So what happends next?
Well the doctor meeting before rehab starts is at the end of the month (28 of April), so time to
wait again. And I will try walk with Max and try get abit stronger if possible and just keep on
doing my thing. I do feel I’m doing the right thing and that I’m doing good and not slacking
so thats good aswell. I know I didn’t have the strength before to do it, but now when we
have Max I’m forced to do all these walks. And thats the best way for me to get going,
to being forced doing things. Becuse if it was all up to me, I would probbly just be doing
nothing and being lazy. Not saying I didn’t do anything good before we got Max but I
know in the long run it wouldn’t help me that far, becuse i would have stoped doing
those two gym days a week. Oh wow this post is so long, but there is so much to
explain and I like telling about it in details Sorry if its too long for you, but this
is OppaFixarStyle